All Comers La Croix Rules

These rules adapted from the official Beer Mile rules -replacing “beer” with “La Croix”, plus a few policy changes.

The La Croix mile is pretty simple. Drink 4 La Croix…es? La Croii? La Kroyz? La Croixss’eses’ss? and run 4 laps around the track in alternating fashion as quickly as you can. But just to be sure everyone is on the same playing field, here is the standard set of La Croix mile rules to follow.

Each competitor drinks four cans or bottles of La Croix and runs four laps around a standard running track (start with chugging a La Croix, then run a lap, then La Croix, then lap, then La Croix, then lap, then La Croix, then lap - finish).
La Croix must be consumed before the lap begins within the transition area. The transition area is the 9 meter zone between the starting line for a mile race and the finish line of a 400m track.
The race begins with competitors lined up on the mile starting line, drinking the first La Croix in the transition zone described in the step above. This ensures competitors cover a complete mile. Competitors can walk/move in the transition area while drinking, but all La Croix must be consumed in the transition area before setting off to run a lap.
Women also drink four La Croix and run four laps (some past rule lists only required ladies to drink three La Croix).
Competitors must drink canned or bottled La Croix that is no less than 355mL (12 Oz) in volume, which is the standard can/bottle size in the USA and some other countries.
No specialized cans or bottles may be used that give an advantage by allowing the La Croix to pour at a faster rate (e.g. wide mouth bottles/cans).
La Croix cans must not be tampered with in any manner. (e.g. no shotgunning, puncturing the can, squeezing the can, etc.). The same applies for bottles - no straws or other aids allowed that speed up the pouring process. The only action allowed is opening the can with the tab at the top or twisting off the bottle cap of a bottle.
Cans must be either La Croix or a similar flavored sparkling water. Un-carbonated drinks don’t count.
Each La Croix can/bottle must not be opened until the competitor enters the transition zone on each lap.
Competitors who vomit before they finish the race will either have 60 seconds added to their finish time, or be disqualified (DQed), depending on WHERE THE PUKE LANDS. If it all goes in a trash can or in the grass next to lane 8 of the back stretch, 30sec will be added to their finish time. If any puke lands on surfaces other than interior trash can or natural grass, the competitor will be DQed (but may still finish). Vomiting more than once during the race doesn’t increase the amount of penalty. Vomiting on a non-approved surface after the race still invokes a DQ.
When attempting a performance for the official records, it is recommended to provide video evidence of the race and prove that all La Croix was sufficiently drank. This can be achieved by tipping the empty La Croix over your head after each chug to verify an empty vessel or by collecting the containers and pouring the contents into a measuring cup to prove there is less than 4oz of liquid remaining total across all four La Croix. We recommend picking up a pack of disposable measuring cups for your next La Croix mile event.